Ok, I need to take a second to talk about the two videos Sexplanations and Ash Hardell made in collaboration.

The first on the Sexplanations’ channel is called  “Biosex” vs “Assigned Sex” with Ash Hardell. Where Lindsay Doe(Sexplantion’s host) and Ash Hardell talk about how Lindsay Doe had been using “biosex” to talk about folk’s assigned sex and physical anatomy, and how that was problematic. It’s one of the most beautifully modeled “call-ins” I’ve ever seen. While Lindsay Doe does talk about why she used the term “biosex,” and what her intent was; she does so in the context of explaining that language has evolved since she began using “biosex,” and how her impact was very different from her intentions. Ash Hardell explains how the term “biosex” can be harmful to trans and gender queer folks, and all the positive reasons there are to say “Assigned Sex” instead.

We need more conversations like this, we need to see more conversations like this. We all are imperfect and problematic, and we are all going through the process of trying to learn how to do and be better- we are going to need to be gracious as we learn how to become better. And if it’s not triggering or hurtful to us in the moment, we need to be patient and inclusive in education each other on how we’re problematic.

The Second Video on Ash Hardell’s channel and it is called Trans Sex Ed (Dealing with Dysphoria). I have never seen anything like it! It is a great resource for how to talk about yourself, or your body, or your desires if you are trans and/or gender conforming person. Or if you have a partner or want to hook up with someone who is trans or gender nonconforming. It goes from figuring out how to have a conversation about your wants and desires, to how to talk about your body in the moment, to different toys and techniques you can use to make sex the best ever!

Instructional sex ed informed by a trans experience?! Thank God! Hella fucking necessary!

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I’ve been wanting to share YA book recommendations that deal with rape culture for a long time. And in light of the popular resurgence of #MeToo I feel that now is probably the time. But– and forgive me, this is going to take a while– I think we need to start by talking about rape culture. It’s a term that has been around since the 1970’s. Created by the second wave feminist movement, rape culture refers to the many ways in which our society normalizes a great number of big ideas, and individuals’ behaviors so that rape (& sexual assault, & sexual harassment) are a regular part of living.

This looks like a number of different things. Sometimes it might mean telling a child that their classmates picking on them means that “they really like you.” Sometimes it might mean that mothers talk to their daughters about how to avoid being raped, but nobody talks to their sons about getting consent before they engage in sexual activity. Sometimes it might mean dissecting everything the survivor of sexual assault did to “ask for it,” and talking at great lengths about the bright futures the perpetrators had that were put in jeopardy by such accusations. Sometimes it means suggesting that if women do not want to be sexually harassed they should get out of high power workplaces. Sometimes it means reducing a man bragging about sexually assaulting women and dozens of women coming forward and saying that that man sexually assaulted them to “locker room talk” or “boys will be boys.” Sometimes it means that powerful career makers are openly allowed to assault young women, and their buddies will help cover up the story.

And rape culture is so hard to tackle because there’s so many different facets to address. We need to make a huge cultural shift in how we approach sex, and how vital consent is. We need to talk to young people of all genders about how you shouldn’t engage in intimate relations with anyone without consent. We need to stop talking about how getting consent is a mood killer; without going into details I can tell you that someone asking if they can do X Y or Z in bed is extremely sexy. We need to talk to young people about how they are not owed sex, that no matter what expectations they may have are, or why they have them, it’s not ok to coerce anyone else into sex.

We also need to make a huge cultural shift in how we think about rapists. Rapists can be our children, our siblings, and our parents, rapists can be our good friends, or our partners, or a member of our church community. Because we live in rape culture, there are lots of people who think their actions are totally normal and acceptable, even when they commit sexual assault and rape. And we as their community members need to not only teach them better, but we need to hold them accountable. If someone we love, someone who shows us their best self, someone who we know to be a very good person is accused of rape, we must believe the accuser. Just because we love someone does not make them incapable of rape, and if we spend all our time fighting for them, all our passion worrying about how hard it is for the perpetrator- we make it harder for survivors, we further engrain rape culture, and we do nothing to help the perpetrators we love to be better people.

We are, every one of us, both victims of and perpetrators of rape culture. And we all need to do the work necessary to retrain ourselves in how we think about sex, who we think is capable of assault, and who we support when sexual assault does happen. This culture can be better because we can make it better. And here are some books I think can help.

Now I want to be clear who these books are for. They are not for survivors, many of these books talk about, and give details about sexual assault; some survivors could read such accounts and be ok, but many survivors could be hurt or re-traumatized by such stories. These books are for people who think survivors of sexual assault are asking for it. These books are for people who have never thought about how being assaulted could affect the survivor’s life. These books are for people of all genders, but in particular for young men. Because young men need to believe women, and understand how sexual assault affects women.

 

Speak, by Laurie Halse Anderson

I read this book when I was 16, and it moved me very deeply. I love the way Anderson writes; her characters are always so smart and funny but not too smart and funny to actually be teenagers. It’s a difficult sweet spot to reach with your writing and Anderson somehow manages to do it every time.

Speak tells the story of Melinda, a freshman who’s having a very hard first year at high school. Not only are all of her best friends from middle school part of different cliques now, and none of them are talking to her, but she’s a pariah of the entire school. Everyone knows that she’s the one who broke up the end of the year party by calling the cops. And as her social isolation intensifies, she just stops talking.

This book can at times be brutal, but Melinda’s biting remarks about school and the social groupings of high school give the reader the necessary comedic reprieves to totally enjoy this story.

So, by including this book in a list about rape culture I am already giving you a major spoiler. Melinda called the cops to the party because she got raped at the party, which in the book is a big reveal. The book explores how deeply devastating surviving sexual assault can be, Melinda’s inability to speak is in large part because she cannot admit what happened to her, and further cannot tell anyone what happened to her.

Speak was published in 2001, and has remained a touchstone of YA literature to this day. And for good reason, it was a groundbreaking book for teen audiences about sexual assault, and somehow manages to make such a story both hard-hitting and incredibly enjoyable to read. It deals with the physiological effects of being assaulted, and the internal struggle to self-advocate and to trust you will be believed. I don’t think this is the end-all, be-all narrative about teens surviving sexual assault, but I think it is gripping and cannot help but build the reader’s empathy towards survivors.

 

All The Rage, by Courtney Summers

Can we just start off by acknowledging how the title of this book is pretty incredible? I love playing with the meaning of the saying, and I love expressing female rage, and survivor’s rage.

If Speak is about the internal struggles and mental tolls that sexual assault takes on survivors, then All The Rage walks the reader through the external and societal struggles far too many survivors of assault experience. This is an unflinching narrative of what happens when communities do not believe survivors, and protect perpetrators.

Romy Grey lives in a tiny town, where everyone knows her as the loose girl who tried to ruin Sheriff Turner’s son’s life. Coming forward about being raped by Kellan ruined her reputation in her community, her social standing in high school, and even cost her her best friend. It is excruciating to read about the cruelty of the bullying she faces, mostly from teenagers who used to be her friends. It is painful to watch Romy meticulously apply her red nail polish and match it with lipstick as her armor against the world, because nobody outside of her home will offer her any protection.

I think everyone who ever talks about the terrible social cost of being accused of rape needs to read this book. Anyone who doesn’t understand why more survivors don’t come forward, and why they don’t come forward sooner needs to read this book. It is brutally painful, incredibly believable, and something real young women deal with far too often.

Romy’s former best friend tries to reconnect, says a girl a few towns over told her to be careful around Kellan, and then goes missing after a party. And the book turns into a bit of a murder mystery suspense novel. Nobody is looking at the folks who would be the most likely to have hurt her best friend, so Romy has to try and go after the truth herself.

A subplot to All The Rage is that Romy is a waitress in a restaurant outside of town, where nobody knows about her and she can exists anonymously. And she starts to build a romantic relationship with a cute coworker. It’s at times cute, and at times excruciating (as she’s still very much traumatized, and doesn’t want to tell him that she’s been assaulted because this is the one place where that doesn’t define her life) and always utterly believable. (And while I oftentimes don’t care for romances as secondary plot lines for YA) I think in one of the most brutal narratives about sexual assault it’s important to show the protagonist making romantic connections. Life goes on after sexual assault, you can give and receive love after sexual assault. This is a very bleak book, and considering the subject matter rightfully so, but this book also offers the reader and Romy hope for the future.

 

Exit, Pursued by a Bear, by E. K. Johnston

So Johnston decided that she wanted to write a book about rape, where after the assault had happened everything and everyone acted the way they ideally should. So, it’s a book about rape, without the rape culture.

What does that look like? Well, when the main character, Hermione Winters, wakes up at the hospital near cheer camp not remembering how her night ended and her best friend, Polly, is there and she carefully and thoughtfully explains how they found her. She is taken care of emotionally before legal and medical options are explored. The police officer who takes her statement is a woman, and believes Hermione. Her coach believes her and supports her, her team believes her and supports, her parents believes her and supports her.

Her boyfriend’s a dick, and is personally hurt she got raped. Which sucks. But she breaks up with him and really doesn’t dwell on that for any period of time.

Her parents help her find a therapist, and she goes through the long process of working on being ok, of getting better, of moving forward with her life. And when her biggest fear is realized–she’s become pregnant–everyone supports her decision to get an abortion, even her coach who had her baby when she was a teenager. And when she tells her mom that the person she wants to have take her to get an abortion is Polly, her mom, while a bit hurt, accepts her decision and supports her doing what she needs to do to be ok.

A lot of the reader reviews of Exit, Pursued by a Bear talk about what makes the book different from other YA narratives about rape is that Hermione is tough, that she has the spirit to move beyond the rape. I don’t necessarily disagree, but I think the reason Hermione is able to exhibit such grit is because of the great love and support she gets from her community. Unlike Melinda and Romy, Hermione is not an outcast after her assault; her friends and team stand by her. And unlike Melinda and Romy, who experience some of the worst bullying by their former female friends, in Exit, Pursued by a Bear, Polly and Hermione’s friendship only gets stronger in the aftermath of the assault. It is a true testament to the power, importance, and beauty that female friendship can have in your life.

 

The Female of the Species, by Mindy McGinnis

The book opens with the line “this is how I kill someone.” And the first chapter of the book takes you through how Alex meticulously plans and then executes the murder of a man who raped and murdered her sister, and who the police couldn’t convict. The first chapter ends with the lines:

“This is how I kill someone.

And I don’t feel bad about it.”

The Female of the Species was my favorite book of 2016, and the book I most needed to read in response to rape culture.

The book isn’t a chronicle of Alex going through her small town and murdering all the rapists in it (although I’d definitely read that book too).  It tells the story of Alex, PeeKay, and Jack. At the beginning of the story they’re all nobody to each other. Alex has chosen to be removed from her peers, and only comes into PeeKay and Jack’s lives when she and PeeKay both start volunteering at the animal shelter, and she and Jack are pulled into the guidance counselor’s office because Alex just overtook Jack’s place to be valedictorian.

Both PeeKay and Jack think Alex is weird, and she is, she talks like she learned English out of a book (she did), she’s unflinchingly honest with everyone, and she doesn’t take any shit. And they are both completely taken by Alex:PeeKay as a friend, Jack as a romantic interest.

It is really fascinating to watch someone actively fight against rape culture, I as a reader, and PeeKay and Jack as people who grow to love Alex, were completely entranced as Alex kneed a classmate in the balls who tried to hug Alex without her consent, and ripped a creeper’s nose ring out when he tried to take an intoxicated PeeKay home from a party.

Now I imagine that a lot of you are reading this, and aren’t stoked on the idea of YA literature advocating for teen vigilantes. And I’m not necessarily advocating that everyone #KillYourRapist, but there’s something incredibly empowering about reading about a teen girl who does. One of the valuable things that literature allows its readers to do is explore things that they wouldn’t want to or be able to do in real life. And for those of us surviving out here in rape culture, being able to read an empowering rape revenge story is what we need.

And whether or not you think violence is an acceptable tactic I think The Female of the Species is a great book for young people to read. Because Alex does not accept rape culture, and her standing up to rape culture inspires others to fight against it, using tactics that work for them. That is a message I want every young person to internalize.

 

Honorable mentions:

Gabi, Girl in Pieces, by Isabel Quintero is about so much more than surviving sexual assault– which is why it isn’t properly on the list and I’m fairly sure I’m going to give it a longer review in the future, so stay tuned– is a truly excellent book about growing up female. A lot of it is about finding your voice, learning to love your imperfect self, learning to find love and have affection for your family (even when you’re 17 and it’s REALLY hard), and how important friendship is. One of the things Gabi and her friends deal with is rape, and how it really doesn’t look like some stranger jumping out of the bushes at you. It’s such a great book about being a Latina teen that I think should be required reading.

Asking For It, by Lousie O’Neill is a book that got a lot of buzz when it came out in 2015. I haven’t read it so cannot vouch for it, but it’s about a girl who cannot remember the night she was assaulted but photos of it have been circulated to everyone in her school. In the age of smartphones and social media this seems an important take on surviving assault.

 

 

What We Saw, by Aaron Hartzler is a book that was recommended to me by a coworker that I haven’t been able to read yet. What We Saw takes a completely different viewpoint, it’s about a girl who was at a party when another girl gets assaulted. Kate can’t remember the night too well, and the book is about her trying to figure out if what the survivor claims is true. It looks at how silence by bystanders is a major form of complacency in rape culture.

 

Ultimately this list is incomplete, because the books published about surviving rape culture leave out so many experiences. We need books that explore how rape culture affects young women of color, queer & trans people, disabled people, immigrants, and how rape culture affects young men- because people of all genders can be sexually assaulted. As a society, and often times as feminist movements, we put far too much import on white, straight, cisgendered, able bodied women. If our feminist movements are really going to dismantle destroy rape culture, they need to do it for everyone. Otherwise our feminist movements are useless.


adapted from South Seattle Emerald

I recently got a question from an adult who was worried about a teenage family member. The teenager had cheated on her boyfriend by engaging in a sex act with another boy, and the adult family member wanted to know what they could do to help the teenager to not hate herself and feel disgusting.

Whoa, was that a big ask.

So first of all, I want to be clear that cheating is not ok. It is a breach of trust that really hurts, and I am in no way advocating an acceptance or blanket forgiveness of cheating. However, I feel like when women and girls make mistakes involving sex– or just make a choice (or perceived choice) that a community member disapproves of– they are made to feel shameful. They are made to feel gross. They are called sluts and whores. And it can make middle and high school a hellish experience for them.

And as a former teenager who made mistakes involving romance and sexuality, I think it’s important that we do as much as we can to normalize sex. Because while we may not want to think about or talk about sex with the young people in our lives, our silence helps create the stigma around sexuality. And there are too many people giving young people lots of negative information about sex for us to leave a void for others to fill. So I would hope that conversations with someone like the young woman who inspired this list could talk about respecting partners, and honoring trust; I would also hope that we could talk to young women about how sex should be awesome. And wanting and desiring sex is not wrong, and the act of pursuing sex isn’t shameful or gross. It’s pretty normal. I think one of the ways we can do this is by making sex positive resources available to teenagers.*

 

Ending slut shaming

The Unslut project, So a quick blurb from the unslut project’s website: “The Unslut Project is a collection of stories of women and girls who have experienced slut shaming and sexual bullying.” Reading the collective stories the reader is struck by how often rumors and stories of girl’s sexual escapades come from nowhere, and her reputation as a “slut” can haunt her for years to come.

 

Sex Education

There are many, many nonfiction books. Both of my local library systems have some pretty comprehensive lists (KCLS) (SPL). Some highlights:

S.E.X: The All-you-need-to-know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College This is the first book put together by Scarlet Teen, the go-to online resource for teen sexuality (don’t worry I’m going to talk about Scarlet Teen in just a moment!). It’s incredibly comprehensive and talks about everything from bodies, to sexual orientation, to sex and relationships, consent and assault, to pregnancy, STI’s and safer sex.

Sex: A Book for Teens : An Uncensored Guide to your Body, Sex, and Safety This is book made by the folks who made a pretty ground breaking Midwest Teen Sex Show on Youtube. One of the funniest sex resources I’ve ever seen for teens. While The Midwest Teen Sex Show was more interested in going for a laugh then focusing on all the facts, this book is more traditional educational resource, without losing its teen friendly humor.

100 Questions You’d Never Ask your Parents I was blown away by the premise of this book. On one page is has a question, on the next page(s) there is an easy to understand factually accurate answer. It’s brilliant, at my previous job I made an entire book display around my discovery of this book. All of the questions are answered by an OBGYN and a psychologist, so you know, the people you would want teens getting their information from.

[edit, suggested addition: Girls & Sex, By Peggy Orenstein]

 

Websites

Scarlet TeenAs I mentioned before Scarlet Teen is the predominant online resource for teens on sex and sexuality. However, I HATE the format, take a look at it, you’ll see, it’s just not organized well. It has a search box in the upper right hand corner, so you can find answers- and some of the best most comprehensive nonjudgmental answers at that- to your questions despite the weird design. I think the coolest feature about Scarlet Teen are the “ask for help” options! Toward the upper right corner of the page teens can talk to real live people who will give them good advice about sex and sexuality, via message boards, live chat, and SMS/text!

Planned Parenthood for teens, Planned Parenthood’s website for teens is another very comprehensive resource. It has 10 main topics it covers (such as LGBTQ, Puberty, and Relationships) and each subpage on their topic gives a lot of information and nuance to each subject. I particularly liked the “Ask the Experts” page– which is like an online forum, with hundreds of questions, answered by Planned Parenthood employees– and their “Find Birth Control” app–which helps you figure out a good birth control option for you based on preferences.

Sex, Etc, Another very comprehensive resource. They brag great stats, 5 million visits to their website each year, covering sex, relationships, pregnancy, STIs, birth control, sexual orientation, “and more!” What I find exceptional about Sex, Etc is that with the help of adult editors the website is written entirely by teenagers.

Oh Joy Sex ToyOh Joy Sex Toy is a really fun and playful resource, it’s a webcomic that expertly explores many topics around sexuality. It is a bit of a “deep dive” resource, meaning that is is so comprehensive that it has information that would be good for a young person just starting to think about sex and sexuality, and an adult who’s been engaging in sex for decades. Since it is a webcomic everything is graphically displayed for you. Using its search feature is a good way to know what the comic is about before seeing it. It’s a wonderful resource that presents really useful information in a fun, accessible, and funny way.

 

Sex education YouTubers

Sexplanations, I love Sexplanations! It’s made by Dr. Lindsay Doe who is a sexologist. She has a fun, uncreepy, very excited way of talking about sex, gender, bodies, sexuality, and almost anything else you can imagine that is inviting and almost addictive way. This is another “deep dive” resource, they have made over 200 videos covering a wide range of topics. There’s so much good information on very surface level (just kinda curious about this “sex stuff”), and plenty of information I had never learned as a full grown adult. I would just recommend that folks read the titles of the videos before they watch so they’re getting information they’re ready for.

Hannah Witton, Hannah Witton is a YouTuber who makes videos on all kind of things including sex. She’s just a person giving anecdotal and DIY researched advice, and has lots of conversations with other folks. She young and British and fun to learn from.

Shan BOODY, Shan is a lot more pop culture-y then the previously listed YouTubers. She does more skits and jokes too. She’s a funny woman of color, who’s really trying to make relatable content for contemporary young people.

Stevie, is a lesbian youtuber who does videos on a variety of topics, from youtuber staples like “girlfriend tag,” to identity and sexuality, to life advice, to her most recent series Lesbian sex 101. She’s funny, informative, and straight forward. Since she is literally giving sex instruction in video form–nothing pornographic, dolls, illustrations, sometimes fully clothed humans– I would also call her videos a “deep dive” resource.

 

Sex positive media

Of course a Rad Books For Rad Kids list is going to have some fiction on it. But to be honest some great lists about sex positive YA books have already been made, so why reinvent the wheel? One created by Clear Eyes Full Shelves, and another from Stacked Books.

I would however like to tell you about one of my favorite new books that’s not included on either list: The Nerdy and The Dirty. Pen Lupo knows she is the dirtiest girl in her high school, maybe even the world. She thinks about sex all the time, and has urges near constantly, and masturbates almost everyday. She loves her boyfriend, and doesn’t know who she would even be if she wasn’t one half of the coolest couple in school. It’s just her urges are never satisfied by him, he’s never asked her want she wants to do in bed, and it’d be too dirty to tell him… All of this get blown wide open when the boy she for some reason cannot stop fantasizing about is also spending the first week of winter break at the lodge in the woods. (TBH this book is just as much about the boy, but for the purposes of this list he’s really a secondary character.) Sex is a huge theme in this book, and sex is described not alluded to (I felt very risqué listening to a sex scene via the audio book as I was parking at the Washington State Homeschool Convention…).

Movies for teens about girl’s sexuality:

The To Do List Watch a comedy about close friends and a special summer project. Valedictorian Brandy Clark, in 1993, wants to shed her uptight image before graduation, so she makes an ‘activities’ list of all the things she missed out on in high school. Well, the list turns out to be more than she bargained for. Full transparency, I haven’t seen this movie. It looks like a boisterous and raunchy film, about a girl who wants to do a lot of unrepeatable things. Which really just sounds like flipping the gender script on movies like American Pie- but in terms of dismantling patriarchal views of girl’s sexuality, this movie seems to me to be pretty useful.

Pleasantville A brother and sister are magically transported through their television set and into the black-and-white world of a 1950s sitcom called Pleasantville. Soon they affect this environment with their worldly sensibilities, and people and things slowly begin to acquire color.” One of the only movies I know of where the teen girl lead is a most knowledgeable about sex, and not demonized for it! There’s also a fairly beautiful storyline with the mother character discovering and exploring her own sexuality, there’s a bathtub masturbation scene that’s genuinely beautiful.

Turn Me On, Dammit! “15-year-old Alma is consumed by her hormones and fantasies that range from sweetly romantic images of Artur, the boyfriend she yearns for, to daydreams about practically everybody she lays eyes on.And I also haven’t watched this movie… I know! I’m the worst! But it’s been on my list for a while now. This is the only movie that I know of centered around a teen girl and her sexual desires and urges. I think it’s so cool that this movie exists. I hope more media can be made like this, so more and more people can see that girls wanting to have sex is totally normal.

I really wanted to have some movies  about people of color, I wonder if Love And Basketball might fit the bill. I haven’t seen it in years (the worst!), and it’s about their relationship changing over the years, and pursuing basketball careers. But I remember their first time having sex as sweet and awkward and endearing. What are some other movies I should have listed?

I also wanted to include some queer movies. But I’m a Cheerleader is a classic, and a funny campy argument against conversion therapy. The Way He Looks is a Brazilian movie about two boys, one of whom is blind, who are put together in a class project and their feelings begin to blossom. I guess I could include Blue is the Warmest Color (which is also a graphic novel), it’s an incredibly sexy movie (10 minute sex scene) but it has been argued that it’s sensational hypersexual depiction of lesbian teens is problematic. I’ll let you make up your own mind.

Movies about how slut shaming is BS:

Easy A “After a little white lie about losing her virginity gets out, a clean cut high school girl sees her life paralleling Hester Prynne’s in ‘The Scarlet Letter, ‘ which she is currently studying in school. Hoping to become popular, she decides to use the rumor mill to advance her social and financial standing. I don’t care what the academy says, this is Emma Stone at her best! A funny and smart teen movie about how a teen girl’s reputation really has nothing to do with her own actions, but everything to do with what’s said about her.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower “A high school freshman, always watching from the sidelines, is taken under the wings of two seniors who welcome him to the real world. This movie is predominantly about finding your tribe, and how one can survive some terrible things that happen to you. Also the love interest is slut shamed and it’s portrayed as BS. It is based on a really beautiful and powerful book.

 

Music

Most of my music options are from the 90’s, besides Queen Bey, please please please give me more suggestions! These would all have “parental advisory” stickers on them. Be advised, these wouldn’t necessarily be fun family listening, unless your family can listen to sexy music together. In which case awesome more power to you!

Oh also here’s a list of songs about ladies who masterbate!

Of course making these resources readily available to teens will not magically take shame and shaming out of teenage sexuality. But starting conversations and treating sex like a totally chill thing we all just need to learn more information about, is a big step in the right direction. Go forth dear readers and be a part of that change!

*So this list started as resources for a specific teenager who was already engaging in sex. This list isn’t really made with children or even tweens in mind. BUT conversations about sexuality and consent can start with kids. This is a subject that is really interesting to me, so please let me know if you’d like resources for a younger group of people. I’d be very interested in pursuing such a list.


adapted from South Seattle Emerald

When I was a kid I loved comics, but I didn’t really buy them or collect them myself – they didn’t really feel like they were for me. And they kinda weren’t – it’s still a male-dominated medium – but during my childhood, it was nearly impossible to find a comic series fronted by women that I could relate to. If there were women they were always too sexy, too femme, too stylish, too one dimensional, too focused on their love interest, too actually-a-man-reincarnated-into-a-woman’s-body (no, for real) for me to find my child self in them.* It’s important to point out that authentic representations of people of color, in particular women of color, were even harder for young readers to find. (After I sent this piece to editing I read about how a variant cover for Marvel’s new Iron Man series, featuring Riri Williams a 15 year old Black Girl as Iron Man, was released. The picture was hyper sexualized, and in no way looked like a 15 year old girl. Which is to say the the comic industry’s over sexualization of women and girls, in particular Black women and girls, is not a thing of the past.)

And it’s been a bit of a bummer as I’ve grown up to see that so many white boys and men have really taken nerdom’s marketing to straight white men to mean that they are the cultural gatekeepers. From video games and comic books to participation in nerd culture women and girls have to fight for their ability to critique and often times even just participate in the fandoms they love (not that white fanboys have taken comic franchises attempting to diversify their flagship characters any better).

So I bet you can imagine how excited I was to learn about Seattle’s GeekGirlCon! A Con that exists to “…create community to foster continued growth of women in geek culture through events”. I kinda feel like GeekGirlCon is what the world needs. I am heartbroken to tell you that I was unable to go this year (it’s not even for a good reason, I had too many errands… adulting is hard, ok?!), but I just had to do something in tribute to GeekGirlCon, and hope this blog post will suffice for this year.

So as this title says I’m going to recommend comics written for young audiences with girl heroes, and as the title further says these books would be great reads for girls, boys, and kids beyond the binary. #BooksHaveNoGender, yes girls need to see female heroes, SO DO BOYS, so do nonbinary kids! Plus these comics are just plain GOOD, all kids should like them, seriously #BooksHaveNoGender.

lunch_lady_and_the_video_game_villain_-_high_res_coverThe Lunch Lady series has a perfect combination of classic comic corniness and absurd concepts to permanently wedge its way into your heart! By day Lunch Lady is, in fact, a lunch lady, serving nutritious meals to Hector, Terrace, Dee (the Brunch Bunch) and their schoolmates; but by night Lunch Lady is a baddass mystery-solving crime-fighting wielder-of-justice! Lunch Lady’s tools? Fish-stick nunchucks! Whisk Whackers! Sloppy Joes on the road, and honey mustard on the windshield! And of course, her sterile yellow rubber gloves! With her sidekick Betty (a fellow lunch lady) and the Brunch Bunch always close on their heels Lunch Lady foils even the most sinister capers, all while using a flawless amount of food puns. You may find yourself gasping “great spaghetti!” for days to come. And if that isn’t enough to sway you, the author Jarrett J. Krosoczka gave a heartwarming TED Talk about how he created the Lunch Lady books to sing the praises of unsung heroes in our school lunchrooms! A working-class superhero your kids will LOVE! I would say this book is well suited for mid-elementary to late-elementary school-aged kids.

51qpuvt9mwlThe first awesome kid’s comic I found focused on around a great heroine was Zita The Spacegirl. I was visiting a friend in Western Massachusetts, I stopped into their radical bookstore and devoured the book in one sitting! Zita blew my mind! It’s the tale of a girl (Zita) and her how her life gets thrown into an adorably whimsical sci-fi adventure when she and her best friend (Joseph) press a red button they find at the bottom of a crater and are sucked into a world many galaxies away! Once in the new world Joseph is abducted by the Screed – a kid-appropriate alien doomsday cult – and Zita must try and find a way to save him. As Zita goes along on her journey she acquires a crew of misfits (probs a bit of a nod to The Wizard of Oz) who are loyal and endearing, and by working together they hope to get Joseph back! This book has just the right amount of complication, Zita is not perfect and in fact, may need to save Joseph for her own redemption as much as anything else to give the book weight and importance – but don’t worry it doesn’t get too heavy. AND if you, or a young person in your life, loves Zita she has a whole series you can read! I would say this book is geared for kids around late-elementary to early-Middle school.

41a92bgtwrdl-_sx342_bo1204203200_Next, I want to recommend a graphic novel author, Raina Telgemeier. She does really fun earnest graphic novels with a bright classic-cartoon style about tween girls. She got her start doing The Baby-Sitters Club graphic novels, a book series she brings to life perfectly as she was a fan of them as a child. She grew to great children’s-graphic-novel-writer’s fame when she wrote Smile. Smile is is a fantastic little book, it’s her memoir of her childhood, dealing with a long-term process of fixing a dental accident, earthquakes, boy interest, and other sixth-grade adventures. She followed up Smile with Sisters, which is another memoir about her relationship with – you guessed it – her sister! It’s told over the course of a multi-day road trip, staggered with flashbacks of their younger childhood, it’s about the difficulty, resentment, competition, and ultimately the love and real tangible need sisters have for each other. Finally I’d like to recommend Drama. The main character, Callie, develops crushes on twin brothers who both are also involved in the school play she is set designing for. It’s lovely and has a very diverse group of characters, and while it focuses on her crushes, Callie ending up with a boy at the end isn’t the point (or even what happens). I recommend Telgemeier’s books for later elementary school through middle school.**

moon-girl-and-devil-dinosaurI want to sing the praises of Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur. Lunella Lafayette is a nine-year-old genius (so smart in fact that Marvel has announced Lunella is the smartest person in the Marvel Universe – step aside Mr. Fantastic), she’s so smart that she has a really hard time fitting in. She’s too smart for her classes, her classmates DO NOT get her, and her parents pressure her to act more like everyone else so that she can blend in, make friends, be happy. But Lunella is not about that. Lunella has a secret lair underneath her school, more baddass inventions then you can shake a stick at, and a mission! You see Lunella has the inhuman gene, and she is terrified that the gene will transform her (as it is apt to do) into something else, so she is on a mission to save herself from the possibility of an inhuman transformation. So she hunts down a Kree Omni-Wave Generator convinced she can harness its power to prevent any inhuman changes, and when the Kree Omni-Wave Generator brings a bright red T-rex and a crew of evil cavemen who proceed to wreak havoc on New York City her mission gets a little sidestepped. Lunella initially is scared of Devil Dinosaur, but when they team up it is delightful, and they’re just a perfectly matched odd couple. Can I also just throw in there that Lunella’s fashion sense makes me LIVE? Her uniform in life is a tee shirt (often with a science graphic on it), khaki shorts, knee high socks, and her natural hair always up in in a pony or pigtails – it is TOO CUTE! I would recommend this book for late-elementary on through high-school-aged readers.

lumberjanes_coverLumberjanes is the comic book series I wish I had when I was a kid. It’s about a cabin of girls at Lumberjanes’ Camp for Hardcore Lady Types. It’s so lighthearted and fun, it’s a fantasy adventure that doesn’t take itself seriously, and packs on awesome punch of girl empowerment (they are constantly exclaiming “holy Joan Jett” or “holy Ida B. Wells” or “holy [insert awesome woman from history here]!”) and the importance of friendship (“FRIENDSHIP TO THE MAX” is a Lumberjanes saying). It shows a number of different girls, who express their girl-ness in different ways and shows great diversity in terms of race and ethnicity, sexual identity, and gender identity. Another thing I love about Lumberjanes is that each girl contributes to the team in different but equally important ways. It’s also a series I have no doubt they will just keep on printing, so if you and/or the kids in your life like it y’all can keep on reading it forever. I’d say middle-school on through high-school students (on through adults!) would enjoy Lumberjanes.

princelssI also am a huge fan of the Princeless series. It’s about a princess (Adrienne) whose father puts her in a high tower guarded by a dragon to wait for a prince to save her, but Adrienne comes up with a better plan! She and her dragon go across the countryside freeing her sisters from the monsters that are guarding them! Making a half-dwarf-blacksmith friend, and running into all kinds of silly adventures on the side, the Princeless books are perfect for any kid who read a fairytale and found themselves wanting more. Princeless is a wonderfully diverse comic series, Adrienne and the entire royal family are Black, and in the second volume they meet up with an equally cool pirate princess (Raven) who is Asian. Raven actually gets her own spin off series, Princeless: Raven the Pirate Princess, which is also deeply wonderful. While Princeless is a goofy parody of fairy tales, Raven is a full an attack of anti-feminists and male cultural gatekeepers. As Raven tries to assemble a crew for her ship – to fight and destroy her brother’s who manipulated their father the pirate king into disinheriting her – the men of the pirate-laden port town she’s in throw every anti-woman insult we’ve heard over and over again at her during their interviews, the most memorable being one screaming “not all men!” Raven ends up putting together an all-women crew, which has great diversity in gender expression, race and ethnicity, and sexual orientation, and I cannot wait to see where this adventure goes! I would say that the Princeless series is good for readers in middle school, and Raven is good for high-school-aged readers.

ms-marvelAnd finally, I would just like to say for the record that Ms. Marvel (Kamala Khan) is EXCELLENT! Ms. Marvel is just a darn good superhero comic. Period. Kamala also is the first Pakistani-American and Muslim-American superhero in the Marvel Universe, and in times like these when Islamophobia doesn’t feel like it could be any worse, Ms. Marvel is the hero we so desperately need. We see her as part of a loving, caring and accepting family that puts no more rules or restrictions on Kamala then one would expect from involved parents of any religion. We see her participating in her mosque, and in one scene she goes to talk with her Imam when her parents are worried about her being out all the time (you know, because of the evil she’s thwarting!), and he doesn’t tell her to change her behavior or that she needs to act a certain way as a young woman, instead he tells her that if what she’s doing is so important to her then she needs to find a mentor to help her be the best at whatever it is she’s doing (then she teams up with Wolverine, it’s great)! And you don’t have to be a superhero fan to get these comics either, Ms. Marvel is also a lovely coming-of-age story about a teen girl trying to navigate high school, complicated friendships, family expectations, and superhero responsibilities. I think middle-school- through high-school students could read and love these comics.

And this isn’t even a comprehensive list. As I am wrapping this article up I am thinking of comics I could have included (I haven’t read Cleopatra in Space yet, but I know it would be a good fit! I ADORE the book Giants Beware, it’s a great fantasy adventure for tweens! Valiant Comics recently started a series about Faith a wonderfully nerdy fat/plus sized super hero! Also, Skim and This One Summer should be required reading for all tween and teen girls!). I remember the first time I rattled off the bulk of this list I came to a big realization. At the end of the year meeting of 2015 for all the Teen Services Librarians in the King County Library System, we were asked to list off any of our favorite books that year. When it was my turn I named many of the titles included in this article, and I realized as I was listing them that all of these comic books were about girls, many of which were girls of color, and how different the world of comics is today. It was then that I realized that if you grew up thinking that comics weren’t for you, you could never find yourself in your favorite superhero stories, but that isn’t the case anymore. You are in comics. And today’s kids can grow up seeing themselves and their friends as the heroes spread across glossy comic pages. And I cannot tell you how much that warms this former-girl’s / current-comic-lover’s heart!

*I feel that my list of things that women in comic books were implies that femme or sexy or stylish, even is a negative. Being femme and sexy is awesome! Any way that someone wants to express themselves is rad. My issue is/was more that the ONLY way women were portrayed in comics was as sexualized and femme.

**I am not recommending Telgemeier’s most recent book Ghosts, in part because I haven’t read it yet. But also because it has received criticism for exploring two Chicana girl’s relationship with the Day of the Dead in a very inauthentic way. I hope to explore this topic further in a future post, it’s a bit off topic for this post, but I wanted to acknowledge this issue and not ignore it.


adapted from South Seattle Emerald

mhtnMore Happy Than Not is the single most underappreciated book of 2015. Silvera invites us into a perfectly described world, with an astoundingly complex and beautiful cast of characters, and a subject so contemporary and familiar that somehow manages to tell a completely unique story. How it didn’t rack up every YA award and prize imaginable, I cannot tell you. 

More Happy Than Not is told from the perspective of Aaron Soto. A teen who was born and raised in the Bronx, on the same block, in the same housing projects his whole life. Silvera himself is from the Bronx and the realness he brings to Aaron’s world is pure perfection. This is the story of a neighborhood, a housing projects community. While so many YA novels tell stories of teens who can just up and leave for a joy ride or a soul searching trip, Aaron Soto lives just a subway ride away from all bright lights of New York City, and the farthest we see him travel is the ten-block walk to his girlfriend’s place.

Aaron’s social world is fairly small, he and his brother barely speak. His mom works two jobs to make ends meet, so he barely gets to see her – awake, anyways. And his relationship with both is pretty strained since his father committed suicide earlier in the year. He has had the same group of friends his whole life: Brendan (his sort-of best friend, who’s been kinda a dick lately), Nolan, Skinny-Dave, and Baby Freddy who are all around when you need someone to play a game with; and Me-Crazy, the kind of kid who you’re better off just avoiding. He also has a girlfriend, Genevieve, a sweet-tempered artist, who would probably fall into the manic-pixie-dream-girl category if this was a more generic story.

And all of that is turned on its head when he meets Thomas. They chance upon each other when Thomas is breaking up with his girlfriend as Aaron hides in the nearby alley (he’s playing “manhunt” with his friends, which is like a high-stakes version of “sardines”), Thomas helps Aaron squeeze through a gate, and they hit it off instantly. Aaron’s relationship with Thomas is totally different from anyone else he spends time with. They talk about their feelings and relationships, their dreams, they even reveal to each other their passions (for Aaron, it’s comic art and for Thomas, it’s film). It was a breath of fresh air for me as a reader that Aaron had such an emotionally honest relationship with Thomas, all the other young men in his life are distant, cold and constantly giving him shit (which, to my basic understanding, is fairly accurate as to how young male friendships work).

Aaron’s relationship with Thomas runs so deep that he begins to question whether he’s straight. When he starts to affirm these questions Aaron decides that he wants to go to the Leteo Institute to get a memory-alteration procedure. Oh, wait, did I forget to mention that there’s a place in this book that can 100% no bullshit erase unwanted memories, and they have a location in Aaron’s hood? Because yeah, that’s totally a thing. Which is to say this book is using science fiction to explore the human experience (why didn’t it win all the awards?! WHY?!).

And now I have to officially stop giving you plot points, because I am literally on the verge of spoiling this entire book for you, dear reader. But I can still talk about all the big picture things this book is about. This book is about relationships, how they’re good, and bad, how sometimes they’re unhealthy patterns, sometimes you don’t read them right, and sometimes they will surprise you by how rich and powerful they can be. This book is about toxic masculinity, and how devastating the costs of that culture can be for a young gay man. This book is about forgiveness, and unlike many YA books it draws the distinction between people who deserve our forgiveness and those who do not. This book uses science fiction as metaphor to condemn conversation therapy, heartbreakingly, and completely. But more than anything this book is about the the immense importance of finding happiness in who you really are, no matter how unideal that person might seem to be to you, and about the impossibility of finding happiness if you cannot accept yourself.

I would recommend this book for mature readers, both in reading level and emotionally. I would like to put a big trigger warning on this book for suicide of a family member, surviving a suicide attempt, description of an act of suicide, and homophobic violence. That said, I think this is a fantastic book for readers who love tender stories of self discovery. Who want to have more intentional friendships in their lives. Who are struggling with who they are, and need assurance that they are enough. Who want to read about a queer person of color growing up in the projects. Who think science fiction is at it’s best when it is a metaphor for real things people go through. Who want to read the best damn book published in 2015!

I think Adam Silvera is a voice we desperately need in YA literature. Obviously because he brought us this authentic story of a queer teen of color in the projects, and we need those stories to be out there, so the real life LGBTQI+ urban kids can find them, and so everyone else will know that they exist. But even beyond that really important achievement, I think Silvera has done something truly astonishing with More Happy Than Not. He is holding up a mirror, just different enough from the real world that we don’t have to see ourselves in it, so that we can see clearly how devastating the problems we create are.


adapted from South Seattle Emerald

Shadowshaper_cover-

I am in love with Shadowshaper by Daniel José Older. This book busts expectations of Afro-Latino representations in YA fiction every possible way. I mean, just look at that cover. It is so refreshing to see a teen novel with a beautiful young woman who has dark skin and natural hair taking up the entire cover! And that’s all before you even glance at the first page.

Shadowshaper tells the story of Sierra Santiago, an artist recently turned muralist who has just started her 16th summer in Brooklyn, NY. Sierra is fantastic: she’s funny, her outfits are always described as amazing street fashion ensembles, and she has the coolest crew of friends. A little throw-away fact from the beginning of the book is that Sierra and her friends all go to Octavia Butler High School, you know, just a fictional high school named after the groundbreaking science fiction writer. I nearly lost it right there (seriously, I want to make tee shirts that say Octavia Butler High on them, please get at me if you want one too!). From her calm and classically-styled best friend Bennie, to their femme freestyling lyricist friend Izzy and her butch and skeptical girlfriend Tee – Sierra’s ensemble of friends are funny, talented, and dynamic. In all the passages where her squad was hanging out it felt authentic, and I honestly just loved spending time with them.

But Shadowshaper is not a realistic coming of age story, it’s an urban fantasy! One day as Sierra works on her mural, she realizes that other murals in the neighborhood are fading, fading really fast, and – crying sometimes…? But she must just be imagining that… When she stops home that night to change for a party her Abuelo won’t stop apologizing to her, but she brushes that off too, he hasn’t really been fully there for a few years now. She is forced to stop ignoring the strange things around her, however, when a zombified man crashes the party to try and find her. With the help of her dreamy classmate Robbie – a boy of Haitian descent who is such a prolific artist that everything from his clothing to the margins of his books are covered in his drawings – Sierra discovers that she is a “Shadowshaper”, a Caribbean mystic who can channel friendly spirits into her artwork.

Sierra may now understand she has magical powers, but now she has to figure out why zombies from her Abuelo’s old crew are after her, why evil spirits are turning her Abuelo’s friends into zombies in the first place, why shadowshaping magic is fading, and who the random white guy in the photo with her Abeulo’s crew back in the day is; and she still has to figure out how her powers actually work. Sierra and Robbie’s experimentation with their Shadowshaping is incredibly fun. They play hide and seek with shadowshaped chalk drawings in central park, and dance with Robbie’s murals inside an all-ages Méringue club.

On top of all the the daring and dangerous work Sierra has to do, it’s happening in a neighborhood that is constantly being taken away from her and her community. As Sierra walks to Bennie’s apartment she gets stared at by white gentrifiers as if she does not belong in this neighborhood, a neighborhood her best friend has lived in her whole life, that Sierra has been visiting just as long. There is a painful moment when Sierra realizes that because of the drastic changes in this neighborhood, that in a way, she doesn’t belong there anymore. There is also a scene where Sierra is being attacked by a spirit regular humans can’t see, and instead of getting help from the white people who live in the Brooklyn Brownstones they see her as a threat and call the police on her. The exploration of white people appropriating/stealing from/recolonizing from Brown and Black communities is a theme explored deeply and brilliantly in Shadowshaper, in more ways than one – I’d tell you more, but that would be a major spoiler.

Shadowshaper is a great read for high school students, or middle schoolers who have a high reading level. It is especially good for readers who love female-driven adventure stories. Or young readers who are interested in social justice themes but want a book to be thrilling at the same time. Or a reader that loves magic, especially if they don’t relate to all the small-town-white-kid fantasy out there. Or a reader who is very close to their family and friends and wants to read exciting books with main characters who also have strong communities. Or, actually music lovers, the author is also a musician and his passages about Méringue and Salsa-Thrash music totally take you there. I loved this book, it was thoroughly current, effortlessly diverse, and too fun and well written to put down; I cannot recommend it enough!


 

adapted from South Seattle Emerald

The idea is so simple it’s perfect!

This is the story of a crayon in a Red wrapper, because he’s in a red wrapper everyone thinks he’s Red. So nobody can understand why he can’t draw strawberries correctly, and why the portrait he drew of himself isn’t red! All the crayons have an opinion about why he can’t be red well, and the other office supplies try and help, but this red crayon just can’t be red for the life of him. Then one day a violet crayon asked if he would draw the sea for the ship she was drawing, and he does it perfectly! Suddenly it all becomes clear to everyone, this Crayon is BLUE! He takes off his wrapper and lives very happily as a blue crayon for the rest of his days!

It’s very sweet, amazingly well written, and like I said: perfect. This metaphor is a great way to introduce trans identities to young children. And most importantly in a way they will really enjoy!

I cannot recommend it enough!

what is punk

This book is very cute. Anny Yi’s clay portraits of the bands and punk fans are adorable, it’s written in rhyme feeling like an homage it classic children’s books. It takes the reader through a history of punk starting with protopunk bands in New York like Blondie and the New York Dolls, to the Ramones, to Detroit’s Iggy and the Stooges, on to England with the Sex Pistols and The Clash, and beyond!

I do wish this book was more diverse, while it does have a page devoted to women in punk which does highlight Poly Styrene (along with The Slits, and Siouxsie) she is the only person of color mentioned besides Bad Brains. There’s even a spread on California punk that doesn’t include any Latinx punk. There is no mention of queercore, although to be fair, my favorite looks and iconic images of queercore shows and bands probably aren’t appropriate for an adorable kids book (although I do think a clay model of Martin Sorrondeguy in assless chaps for more mature consumption would be delightful).

I would recommend having some companion pieces: Suzy X’s comic about punk and inclusion would be a great thing to read along with What Is Punk. If that’s not for you, why not have pictures of the brothers in Death and talk about them as you read about NY protopunk bands, or Iggy and the Stooges in Detroit? You could also have photos of your favorite POC punk bands talk about those bands and why you love them. At the end of the book it talks about how there’s still a punk scene and culture in the reader’s town today, if you have local bands or festivals that are POC/queer/femme (and not just music: DIY/activist too) you could show them fliers and talk to them about it. If just showing them photos and talking about bands that you love that too often get left out of punk history seems less exciting then that cute little rhyming book, you could play them music from your fav bands, and teach your favorite kids different mosh pit moves.

I hope the next cute kid’s book about punk will include more (some riot grrrl please…), because punk is such a big part of many people’s lives and it would be great to have a picture book that would allow all punks to share their passion with they kids they love. I’ll accept this as a first step though, and know a lot of punks out there will be excited to read some childish rhymes about The Descendants and The Misfits.

I have moved from the Deep South to Seattle Washington. There are a great many things that I have had to adjust to: weather, a commute without freeways, a library system that is well funded… but the cultural differences are probably the hardest things to adjust to! Did you know that in the Pacific North West pedestrians get right of way? There has been many a time when I have stood there as a driver has slowed to park, not knowing what I’m meant to do at that moment in that intersection…

Wanted_poster_Christopher_Columbus

One of the really exciting things to adjust to is here in Seattle, Monday is not “Columbus Day” the Puget Sound instead celebrates Indigenous People’s Day! However, having just come from Texas I am well aware that far too many places in the US still celebrate the original  conquistador’s day, so I thought I’d direct readers to a few different resources for educational tools with a more honest look at what Columbus’ arrival to these continents meant.

First I’d like to direct people to a couple of online resources maintained by indigenous/First Nation/American Indian people:

American Indiana’s in Children’s Literature is a resource I have had on my links page for years and they have a number for blog posts about useful books and resources to engage young minds with more accurate ideas about Columbus. Such as Picture Books About Christopher Columbus and Bonnie Bader’s WHO WAS CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS, but those two posts are only just scratching the surface. If you have time I highly recommend spending sometime and digging into all the many useful reviews and resources American Indian’s in Children’s Literature has to offer.

The next website I want to refer you to is Indian Country Today Media Network, which is a great website to check if you want to stay current on American Indian issues. They have a great list of 9 Teaching Resources That Teach the Truth About Columbus that is multimedia and very well rounded. They also have a number of news articles, since that’s the #1 thing they do. So with an older child, or while reading along and with discussion questions prepared, you might want to read the article’s they published about passing Indigenous People’s Day in Portland or Seattle to engage young people in your life about these ideas.

Next here are two progressive sources that have teaching resources about Columbus Day:

Teaching Tolerance is a project done by the Southern Poverty law Center. They have created a list Reconsider Columbus Day that has a number of different resources- from reading first hand accounts of colonialism, to putting Columbus on a mock trail-  you could use to engage young people to think critically about Columbus Day.

There’s also the Zinn Project’s collection of resources on critical thinking about Columbus. They have articles about the Indigenous People’s Day movement, social media campaigns, a more formal book list called Columbus Day… Time to Break The Silence, and many online resources.

princess banner

The other day I got an email from a good friend asking for help with their goddaughter:

I was wondering if i could tap your brain on children’s media. [My best friend] and i have been increasingly concerned about some of [my goddaughter’s] identity development as a little Black girl – her obsession with elsa from frozen (which worried us from the start) is now becoming internalized into self-hatred around being Black. trying to help her love her hair is an ongoing struggle (of course), but there are also a lot of other worrying elements.

I was wondering if you know of any good children’s media (age 4) that might help create a healthier, empowering normative for her around being a Black girl. we’ve got it covered on the front of kids books celebrating little black girls hair, but [my goddaughter’s] generally uninterested in them ’cause they don’t have the glitz and glam that capture her attention like frozen does. she’s also definitely in a princess phase and just overall really femme – this we accept. but even so, princess tiana doesn’t inspire in her the same kind of enthusiasm as she has for elsa, no matter how much we elevate her (because, let’s face it, disney really failed us on that project).

her mom worships beyonce, so it’s inevitable that the girl also has taste, and style, and spunk and wants media that reflects that. but, unfortunately, the creation and marketing of frozen/elsa is invariably sexier than books for little black girls illustrated in elegant watercolors. and cartoon options (at least as we know it) are severely lacking/incomparable as well (reference tiana vs elsa again). we’re wanting to overhaul her media consumption, and we’re looking for more/better options… and hopefully there are some things that are also sexy enough to compete with the marketing machine that constantly pushes frozen/elsa at us. i know you’re pretty up-to-date with what’s constantly evolving and trending in internet world, and for all kinds of youth as well. i was wondering if you might know of what’s out there or where we should go to look. my baby’s identity development is on the line!

any thoughts or ideas you have would be greatly appreciated. thanks, friend.

So… once my heart was done breaking I quickly started working on a list of media, and it was fairly short. Which makes sense I suppose, because if there was fair representation of Black girls in children’s media this girl and her family wouldn’t be in this problem, right? But luckily there are a number of librarian forums I could turn to and expand the list! Here’s what the youth librarian hive mind came up with:

straightupprincess
Straight up Princesses who are Black kid’s media

Movies:

Books:

Activity and Coloring books:

glittery

Sparkly/Glam/Ballerina Black Femme Kid’s media

Movies, TV, and online Videos:

Books:

nonfemme

Black Kid’s Media that isn’t bubblegum Pink/Glittery (not at all comprehensive)

Movies, TV, online videos:

Books:

Lists other folks have made

Further resources

programs/displays/book recs